Brats & Beer

Meet ‘Terri’ Smith

I’m sure you’ve all heard by now about the misfortunes of former Vikings running back Onterrio Smith, but for those who have been out of the country let me briefly recap: The Whizzinator got himself suspended from the NFL for violations of the banned substances policy (he likes to smoke the ganja), so he joined the Winnipeg Blue Bombers of the CFL to try and resurrect his career, but this past weekend Smith was cut from the Bombers’ roster. It seems he reported to training camp with a foot injury which kept him out of practice and the first exhibition game, and then when he did get a chance to play, the former Viking only carried the ball for seven yards on two carries and lost a fumble. (Classic line from the ESPN story by Len Pasquarelli quoting Winnipeg general manager Brandan Taman: “Toronto’s suspended NFL guy [Ricky Williams] gets all the accolades, but our suspended NFL guy, despite all the baggage and the [injured] foot, is pretty darned good, too,” Taman said.)

It has been noted in several places that Smith’s options are pretty slim at this point, but here’s an idea that just might work: He should pull a Bosom Buddies and join the Women’s Professional Football League. The WPFL season doesn’t start until July 22, so there’s still time for Smith to get into camp and win a roster spot, he’d get to meet girls, and maybe he’d even be able to put up some decent stats in that league. Just trying to be helpful here.